The Donut Shoppe

2011-10-07T04:28:00.001-07:00

2011-10-04T00:51:00.001-07:00

Frisky Business

2011-08-13T03:44:00.000-07:00

I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

2011-07-30T06:31:00.000-07:00

2011-07-23T18:36:00.000-07:00

2011-07-16T18:20:00.000-07:00

Siesta Time

2011-07-09T06:35:00.000-07:00

Let go! I want his pants, you got the shirt.

2011-07-04T06:53:00.000-07:00

OMG! They arrested Santa.

2011-07-04T06:43:00.000-07:00

Don't try anything funny.

2011-06-17T10:17:00.000-07:00

The Party's Over

2011-06-12T07:55:00.001-07:00

Weapons Check

2011-06-01T03:20:00.000-07:00

The Arizona Department of Safety Officer pulled over pick-up truck owner Mike Murray for a weapons check because of an NRA bumper sticker. When the officer approached the vehicle, the man behind the wheel handed the officer his driver's license, insurance card and concealed carry permit. The officer took all the documents, looked them over and said, "Mr. Murray, I see you have a CCP. Do you have any weapons with you?" The driver replied, "Yes I do. I have a 357 handgun in a hip holster, a .45 in the glove box and a .22 derringer in my boot." The officer looked at Mike and asked, "Anything else?" "Yes. I have a Mossberg 500 12 gauge and an AR-15 in the trunk." The officer asked if the man was driving to or from a shooting range and the man said he wasn't, so the officer bent over and looked into the driver's face and said "Mr. Murray, you're carrying quite a few guns. May I ask what you are afraid of?" Mike locked eyes with the officer and calmly answered, "Not a fucking thing"

Officer, which way to Central Park?

2011-05-29T05:59:00.000-07:00

An NYPD K9 in Uniform

2011-05-29T04:33:00.000-07:00

He loves it when I make home made pasta and put fresh basil leaves on it.

2011-05-28T09:04:00.000-07:00

Next time, you'd better have a helmet on.

2011-05-19T18:38:00.000-07:00

Woman being arrested for parking in the crosswalk.

2011-04-09T13:10:00.000-07:00

Police arrest the ringleader of the notorious Geezer Gang.

2011-04-05T03:25:00.000-07:00

2011-03-23T03:31:00.001-07:00

Bad Cop - Little Donut

2011-03-16T04:59:00.000-07:00

water cannon

2011-03-15T03:07:00.000-07:00

I see London I see France

2011-03-13T11:16:00.000-07:00

You have the right to remain silent...

2011-03-09T04:42:00.001-08:00

2011-03-07T18:20:00.001-08:00

2011-03-05T18:48:00.001-08:00

I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

2011-03-02T03:44:00.000-08:00

Undercover cop

2011-03-01T10:41:00.000-08:00

Dog Arrested

2011-02-26T13:51:00.000-08:00

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. ‘Is that a dog you got back there?’ he asked. ‘It sure is,’ I replied. The boy looked back at the dog, paused for a few moments, and asked, ‘What did he do?’

He's packing heat.

2011-02-26T06:19:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna let you off with just a warning this time... stop stealing those plastic bags

2011-02-26T05:19:00.000-08:00

Busted

2011-02-23T17:08:00.001-08:00

2011-02-20T06:16:00.001-08:00

2011-02-18T02:33:00.001-08:00

Let's take that call Jimmy

2011-02-16T04:53:00.000-08:00

I thought they only had Mardi Gras in New Orleans?

2011-02-15T10:15:00.000-08:00

Hold the mayo

2011-02-14T05:14:00.000-08:00

More freakin budget cuts

2011-02-11T05:18:00.001-08:00

You have the right to remain silent... let us help you.

2011-02-09T03:06:00.000-08:00

Policemen detain an opposition activist during a protest rally in central Moscow September 12, 2010. Opposition supporters on Sunday held an unauthorized rally dubbed the Day of Wrath and demanded the resignation of Moscow mayor Yuri Luzhkov. REUTERS/Mikhail Voskresenski

2011-02-09T02:57:00.000-08:00

A dog dressed as a German policeman rides on a remote controlled motorbike in the centre of Cologne, before England face Sweden during the World Cup soccer tournament June 20, 2006. REUTERS/Fabrizio Bensch

The Montreal Police, keeping our streets safe from partying woman and large inflatable dicks

2011-02-07T17:05:00.000-08:00

2011-02-07T16:54:00.000-08:00

2011-02-06T17:45:00.001-08:00

2011-02-05T17:27:00.000-08:00

2011-02-03T03:50:00.001-08:00

2011-01-31T05:58:00.001-08:00

2011-01-29T12:24:00.000-08:00

2011-01-28T18:32:00.001-08:00

"Krispy Kreme Doughnuts" - Gabriel Iglesias

2011-01-27T19:07:00.001-08:00

2011-01-27T18:49:00.001-08:00

Fresno SWAT Team - This is hilarious

2011-01-27T16:00:00.001-08:00

Probably based on a true story.

2011-01-27T13:28:00.000-08:00

2011-01-27T13:20:00.001-08:00

2011-01-27T13:13:00.001-08:00

2011-01-27T13:06:00.000-08:00

2011-01-27T12:52:00.000-08:00

Just for fun

2007-09-03T14:00:00.000-07:00

Police investigation

2007-08-28T00:15:00.000-07:00

Remember Me!

2007-08-27T09:55:00.000-07:00

A Deputy Sheriff was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hair in his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his pubic hair were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that takes everything with it when you pull it off. Written in large black letters across the tape was the sentence: "Get well quick..... from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."

Where's the windshield on this thing?

2007-07-07T05:37:00.000-07:00

Sad but true

2007-06-24T09:31:00.000-07:00

Poor little rich girl

2007-06-09T18:07:00.000-07:00

Police Stress

2007-06-08T19:34:00.001-07:00

Wal-Mart Shopping

2007-06-03T06:28:00.000-07:00

Two policewomen doing some shopping for shoes in Walmart after the hurricane. http://www.mentalfunk.com/movies/lootingpolicekatrina.html

Speed bump

2007-05-22T17:51:00.000-07:00

Awesome Italian Police Car

2007-04-29T17:16:00.000-07:00

(from Lamborghini Press Release) A Lamborghini Gallardo has been donated to the Italian State Police (Polizia di Stato) by Automobili Lamborghini SpA. The V10, 500 bhp 190 mph performance car has been liveried in the colours of the state police and includes a siren and flashing lights on the roof. This is the first time that a Lamborghini will be used by Italian police.The Gallardo police car will be used by the traffic police (Polizia Stradale) during emergency situations on the Salerno-Reggio Calabria highway in southern Italy. It is equipped with apparatus to transmit and receive information and images in critical situations such as road traffic accidents, fires and other disaster situations. It will also be fitted with the Italian police’s Provida system which records traffic violations and sends images in real-time, and has a direct connection to the police database as well as the Elsag ‘Autodetector’ system for number plate recognition. In addition, the Gallardo is equipped with first aid equipment including defibrillator apparatus with the capability to perform electrocardiograms, and automatic diagnosis of arterial pressure and the presence of oxygen and carbon dioxide in the blood. The car will also be used for the transportation of plasma and human organs for transplant. The police’s use of their Lamborghini Gallardo won’t be limited to fair-weather driving: as well as the benefits of the Gallardo’s permanent four-wheel drive, during winter months it will also sport special ‘Sottozero’ snow tyres developed by Pirelli for Lamborghini. More photos at: http://www.seriouswheels.com/cars/top-2004-Lamborghini-Gallardo-Italian-State-Police-Car.htm

Above and beyond the smell of duty

2007-04-26T04:08:00.000-07:00

Officer AH

2007-04-20T10:20:00.000-07:00

A motorcycle officer stops a man for running a red light. The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the motor officer. The violator demands to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo! So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The "Motorist" instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms. The officer, being a professional, takes it all in stride. The tirade goes on without the cop saying anything. When he gets done with writing the citation he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the citation. He then hands it to the "Violator" for his signature. The guy signs the cite angrily, tearing the paper, and when presented his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for. The officer then removes his mirror sunglasses, gets in the middle of the guys face and says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember you're an Asshole!" Three months later they are in court. The "Violator" has such a bad record he is about to lose his license and has hired an attorney to represent him. On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run the red light. Under cross examination the defense attorney asks; Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the citation you issued my client? The Officer responds, "Yes sir, this is the defendants copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top. Attorney: Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this citation you don't normally make? Officer: Yes sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an"AH , underlined. Attorney: What does the AH stand for, officer? Officer: "Aggressive and hostile, sir" Attorney: Aggressive and hostile?" Officer: "Yes Sir" Attorney: Officer...... Are you sure it doesn't stand for Asshole? Officer: Well sir, you know your client better than I do !

Choke the chicken

2007-04-11T19:07:00.000-07:00

Why did the chicken cross the road? L.A. Police Department: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Cops Gone Wild

2007-04-08T15:13:00.000-07:00

Cops in Kingston, Ontario stop and pose with some young girls gone wild.

Thinks that make you go hmmm!

2007-04-07T13:34:00.000-07:00

Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Duh! Why would you care if a man you’re planning to kill anyway, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun?

I also think about the death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day before his execution, managed to take a drug overdose. They rushed him to a hospital, saved his life, then brought him back to prison and killed him. Apparently, just to piss him off I guess.

2007-04-05T18:30:00.000-07:00

My partner and I were just about to head out on night shift, when a little Chinese man came into the station and began asking for directions to the Trans-Canada Highway. The station duty officer wasn't having much luck explaining the way so I stepped up and said, "Why don't you just follow us? We're heading that way." We got into our police car and the man followed us down the street. We no sooner got to the first intersection than a call came over the air, "Officer needs assistance!" We took off like a shot, forgetting all about our guest. While flying down the street, red lights flashing, sirens wailing, careening around corners, going through red lights, we heard the call, "Unfounded... Everything is under control." That's when we remembered our little Chinese friend. I looked back and there he was, wrestling with the steering wheel, but right on our tail! We stopped, got out, and approached his car. Wide-eyed, he looked at us and said, "I almost rost you!"

Southern Hospitality

2007-04-04T04:09:00.000-07:00

Pint sized hecklers

2007-04-02T18:25:00.000-07:00

Do I look like I'm bluffing?

2007-03-31T17:59:00.000-07:00

The best bluff I remember was by the Officer who trained me. On Hilton Head there is a big public parking lot at the entrance to the public beach. We had received many complaints of teenagers playing loud music and drinking at night in the parking lot. This evening we received a report of a large crowd disturbing the peace. Upon our arrival we found about fifty people in the parking lot. We got out of the patrol car and my partner announced that everyone would have to leave because we had received complaints about the noise. The group had been drinking and they crowded around our car. They asked what we were going to do if they didn't leave. My partner calmly told them that we would put them in jail. They all started laughing and one wise guy said, "You don't really think you two can take us all to jail do you?" My partner reached into our patrol car and pulled out the riot 12 gauge shotgun. He chambered a round and laid it on the hood of the car. He calmly stated, "Of course not. I don't plan to take all of you to jail... just those who are still standing when we run out of ammunition!" Everyone looked at my partner, then at me, then at everyone else and then they started leaving one by one, until we were alone.

Robocop

2007-03-31T06:33:00.000-07:00

The little mechanical canine is actually Laika, a Sony AIBO dog robot. He has a total of 20 degrees of freedom, 1 in the mouth, 3 in the neck, 4 in each leg, 1 in each ear and 2 in the tail. Additionally, his paws are passively compliant paws. Sensors include a color CCD camera, stereo microphones, joint encoders in the legs, touch sensors on the paws, and "petting" sensors on the head and its back. Laika will imitate the movements of a human/humanoid avatar.

Smile. Make a stupid face.

2007-03-29T03:18:00.000-07:00

Robin Williams talks about cops

2007-03-27T19:35:00.000-07:00

Police brutality

2007-03-27T02:23:00.000-07:00

"...so I grabbed the sauce-covered chicken leg from the guy's hands and I smacked him over the head with it. He'll think twice, next time, before dropping napkins on the ground." Sarge... you had to see the look on his face."

Wanted 12 new tires

2007-03-26T10:17:00.000-07:00

That's as funny as the one I heard about the toilet seats that were stolen from a police station... Police have nothing to go on. Same holds true here as well.

The karate cops

2007-03-25T11:12:00.000-07:00

This is actually a clip from a video scandal that rocked the SFPD (San Francisco Police Department). 20 officers were suspended. You can view the story at: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/12/08/MNGQIG4PLD1.DTL

Let me at him!

2007-03-25T05:31:00.000-07:00

"I'm a police dog... I want a gun to! I'm naked, unarmed, no vest, no helmet, no pay. This is bullshit!!. This is discrimination." "Woof, woof."

Police uniform 911

2007-03-24T05:41:00.000-07:00

Which way to the PETA protest officer?

2007-03-22T19:00:00.000-07:00

Auto safety 101

2007-03-21T03:14:00.000-07:00

"The reason I pulled you over was because your tires are bald. You ain't got no threads on them donuts buddy. You need at least 2 mm of thread depth. If I didn't pull you over you'd never be able to stop at that traffic light ahead at the speed you were going."

We hit a brick wall on this one

2007-03-20T04:39:00.000-07:00

"He went to pick up the donut that fell on the floor, then the coffee spilt in his lap then ..."

Pants optional day on the subways

2007-03-19T10:13:00.000-07:00

This is funny... Cops noticed a large number of pantless riders one day last year. Despite there being nothing illegal about appearing in public in underwear, he thought it was a good idea to stop the train. The conductor came over the P.A. and announced, "This train is not in service. Everyone please exit the train and wait for the next one. Due to a police investigation this train is out of service." It seems this was the 6th Annual No Pants Subway Ride that took place on Saturday, January 13. 2006. Eight people were detained. Six of those were handcuffed and taken downtown in a police van. They were all charged with "Disorderly Conduct" and issued a summons to court. You can check out the groups website and other pictures at: http://www.improveverywhere.com/mission_view.php?mission_id=54

SUV full of penguins

2007-03-18T17:43:00.000-07:00

Joke about a police officer who pulls over a SUV full of penguins as told by Kristine Blackport of Jokeofthedaytv.com. New jokes daily.

A dozen reasons to join the force

2007-03-18T11:23:00.000-07:00

I think the stories about cops and donuts comes from the fact that police officers work odd hours when most restaurants and stores are closed. Years ago, the donut shops were all that were open at night. When an officer wanted to stop for a break, coffee and donuts were convenient. If you have several squads working an area and only one place is open, you are bound to see several officers there throughout the night. Donuts have sugar and carbohydrates, which allow for quick energy. Donuts, coupled with the ever present cup of coffee, help keep the officers awake and alert.

Law enforcement puns

2007-03-17T16:00:00.000-07:00

A criminal's best asset is his lie ability.

Junior cop

2007-03-17T05:37:00.000-07:00

Guess some people just have the cop gene.

Moose on the loose

2007-03-15T09:48:00.000-07:00

Always use extreme caution when questioning anyone with more than two legs.

One cool K9

2007-03-14T03:31:00.000-07:00

You're going to get screwed

2007-03-11T08:02:00.000-07:00

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were you trying to steal it? "Heavens no, we bought it." "Then why don't you drive it away." "We can't drive." "Then why did you buy it?" "We were told that if we bought a used car here we'd get screwed... so we're just waiting.

Worlds smallest police dog... Midge

2007-03-09T14:41:00.000-08:00

In Geauga County, Ohio there is a new K-9 deputy on patrol. But when it comes to taking a bite out of crime, this deputy dog will be taking very small portions. For the last seven years, there has been one top dog in the Geauga County Sheriff's Department, Brutus, the big German Shepherd has been the go-to canine. But that's about to change. Here comes "Midge," two pounds of raw recruit police power. A 3-month-old miniature Chihuahua with a little Rat Terrier mixed in, who has one major talent right now. "Cute, she is cute, she is little, she's very friendly, she likes people a lot," Geauga Sheriff Dan McClelland said. Midge, in her little uniform, is already patrolling the hallways at the county jail and the sheriff has plans to train her as the smallest drug dog in the state of Ohio." I had this idea that I've toyed with for a few years, why couldn't a small dog be used just as well?" McClelland said." She watches everybody who comes in the room," Sheriff Dept. Deputy Carrie Jericho said. "Her ears perk up and she watches who's coming in." So far Brutus, who obviously has a sense of humor, has taken to the new tiny trainee. And the department's K-9 trainer thinks Midge has a bright future." I know from my work that kids and dogs get the people's hearts," K9 Deputy Lt. Tom McCaffrey said. She won't begin her training as a drug detection canine for another six months. "She's not going to strike fear into a whole lot of folks," McClelland said. "That's not her job."

World's worst police dog

2007-03-09T11:13:00.000-08:00

I'd like to buy a vowel please

2007-03-09T09:35:00.000-08:00

The Albany police department should have consulted with some of the students or a dictionary first.

What the hell was she thinking?

2007-03-08T03:03:00.000-08:00

Break Escape!

2007-03-07T09:54:00.000-08:00

Police and traffic officials are now making signs and roads more "user friendly."

Snowpig

2007-03-05T05:49:00.000-08:00

The speeding ticket

2007-03-04T07:46:00.000-08:00

A woman was speeding down a highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, she got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed her the citation, received her signature and was about to walk away when the woman asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?" "Ever go fishin' mame?" the policeman suddenly asked the woman." Ummm, yeah..." the startled woman replied. The officer grinned and added, "Did you ever catch 'em all?"

The Donut Shoppe

Frisky Business

I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

Siesta Time

Let go! I want his pants, you got the shirt.

OMG! They arrested Santa.

Don't try anything funny.

The Party's Over

Weapons Check

Officer, which way to Central Park?

An NYPD K9 in Uniform

He loves it when I make home made pasta and put fresh basil leaves on it.

Next time, you'd better have a helmet on.

Woman being arrested for parking in the crosswalk.

Police arrest the ringleader of the notorious Geezer Gang.

Bad Cop - Little Donut

water cannon

I see London I see France

You have the right to remain silent...

I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

Undercover cop

Dog Arrested

He's packing heat.

I'm gonna let you off with just a warning this time... stop stealing those plastic bags

Busted

Let's take that call Jimmy

I thought they only had Mardi Gras in New Orleans?

Hold the mayo

More freakin budget cuts

You have the right to remain silent... let us help you.

The Montreal Police, keeping our streets safe from partying woman and large inflatable dicks

"Krispy Kreme Doughnuts" - Gabriel Iglesias

Fresno SWAT Team - This is hilarious

Just for fun

Police investigation

Remember Me!

Where's the windshield on this thing?

Sad but true

Poor little rich girl

Police Stress

Wal-Mart Shopping

Speed bump

Awesome Italian Police Car

Above and beyond the smell of duty

Officer AH

Choke the chicken

Cops Gone Wild

Thinks that make you go hmmm!

Follow us

Southern Hospitality

Pint sized hecklers

Do I look like I'm bluffing?

Robocop

Smile. Make a stupid face.

Robin Williams talks about cops

Police brutality

Wanted 12 new tires

The karate cops

Let me at him!

Police uniform 911

Which way to the PETA protest officer?

Auto safety 101

We hit a brick wall on this one

Pants optional day on the subways

SUV full of penguins

A dozen reasons to join the force

Law enforcement puns

Junior cop

Moose on the loose

One cool K9

You're going to get screwed

Worlds smallest police dog... Midge

World's worst police dog

I'd like to buy a vowel please

What the hell was she thinking?

Break Escape!

Snowpig

The speeding ticket